This month I have been stretching and growing my understanding of practicing present moment awareness. A visit with a loved one who was in the hospital had me check my own narrow focus, reflect, consider options, and use some flexibility in thought. As we engaged in conversation and storytelling, I realized that the loved one was stuck in the past. From my perspective, they were not focused on the present because their presentation of what year it was and what activities had recently taken place was different than mine. Initially, without realizing that I was pushing my own agenda and interpretation of what was best, I engaged in some struggle with my loved one. I observed myself attempting to direct focus and attention back to the present and more recent experiences. In doing this, I was creating some distress, for they were very comfortable with reliving and talking about things that happened 50-60 years ago. They were enjoying reliving and retelling. I, however, was engaged in striving, forcing, and attempting to control the narrative to the present. This produced some confusion and stress between us. When I became aware of the stress resulting from unsuccessfully trying to force my loved one to attend in the way I thought was important, I adjusted my perspective of what present moment meant in this exchange. I let go and became more curious about what was being shared by my loved one and attempted to join with a kind acceptance. Wow! When I simply accepted what was happening, there was more ease between us. I realized that practicing present moment awareness meant joining them where they were at and lovingly attending to what they were saying, feeling, and doing. This shift allowed me to be aware of what was actually happening, accept this and engage in caring, loving ways with a person who means so much to me. Now, I was able to engage in the present in a different way than I initially intended and experienced an important, valuable perspective shift.
Given the number of years I have been studying mindfulness and engaging in mindfulness-based stress reduction practices, this experience reinforced that when we are aware and open, there is always more to observe, to practice and to learn. If you are interested in further exploration of present moment awareness, I am providing you with two links that I found useful in my review of my own understanding and practice. One is more focused on the concept and the other is more focused on the practice.
Wishing you well now and into the springtime,
Karen
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